Panic attacks were one of the biggest challenges in my life. They appeared suddenly, as they would come from nowhere. For about first twenty and something years I have never dealt with any major health problem, flu was the biggest one.
It was my »normal« day. I was living together with my sister Suzana in a rent apartment. I came from work, eat and rest for a little bit, after not so pleasant day. Suzana went to the gym, so I decided to turn on the TV, because my favorite tennis match was on. I still remember my peaceful enjoyment while watching the match when my first strong heart beat came to the surface. My heart was beating fast, loud and unstoppable. I was in shock. I didn’t know what is happening to me and how to stop it. My thoughts went wild. They were so negative and loud as though someone is speaking to me: “Omg, I will die – my biggest fear is getting real.” After those negative thoughts my panic attack got even worse. I lay down on my sofa. I was fighting with my heart beating too fast and thoughts taking control over me. I could not stop the attack so in the middle of it. I grabbed my mobile phone and called my sister to help me. She didn’t answer because she was exercising and her phone was in the locker room.
Then I remember laying down helplessly, full of adrenaline in my body and no solution. After fighting for quite some time I gave up on my resistance. I accepted my fast heartbeat, all the fear that has come along and the fact that I can die. A few minutes before Suzana saw my phone call and returned the call, my panic attacks slowly subside.
Those were the longest minutes in my life. Somehow it also felt as the time has stopped.
This was the start of my period in life, where the days became very insecure and scary. Through the following weeks those kind of panic attack surprises were on my almost every day basis. I never knew when the panic attack will appear again. It didn’t choose the »right« time. It just happened.
One morning I was driving to the work and when I came into the office I went straight to the bathroom where I struggled with another panic attack. No one knew about it, except my sister. She was my pillar. She was calming me down with her calm and collected energy. She was by my side through the phone every second of it. Her words were empowered and her deep knowingness that I am strong enough to go through it was the power I needed at that time.
My panic attacks had spread in such a big way that they completely possessed my mind. I was totally identified with my mind who was telling me I am getting crazy. I was afraid that I will end up in a mental hospital. The mind became unbearable, negative and destroyable. Sometimes, I was sobbing, losing control over myself and going for a long walk in the nature with my sister to calm me. Everything around me was blurred, unclear and in a way foggy. I was in deep unawareness of who I am. The situation was bad, intense and very exhausting for me and also my sister. Sometimes I felt insane, I didn’t see clearly my surroundings.
I was aware, if at those difficult times I would not have someone – in my case my sister Suzana – who understood me and support me completely, I would be thrown into mental hospital – That was also one of my biggest fears.
For quite a while we were in this intense, dark period of time. Suzana has left behind her current job at that time – making natural cosmetic – and completely devoted her time to my healing.
Then the D day came along. We both needed some break from the same every day, so we decided to visit our friend Tadeja, who lived one hour away from us. We were driving on the highway and I was the one behind the steering (so I would be occupied and not think about panic attacks). While I was driving, I started to feel another panic attack. This one was huge, but also the scariest one, as it started while I was driving. It was dangerous, dramatic and intense. I pulled over at the next gas station, went out of the car and almost collapsed from such a big heart race. I bagged Suzana to drive me into the hospital for calming injection or something, but she didn’t allow me. She strongly believed that I have the power to heal myself. She didn’t even for 1% doubted about her decision. She always deeply knew that there is enormous power seeded within us. This knowingness was the same one that also helped her to heal all of her health problems since her childhood. She was calming me down and believed in me. After 15min the panic attack subsided.
This was my last huge panic attack. From that day on, I gradually became aware of my own inner power – even though we were still not on a self-healing journey at that time. I also became aware that I am not the disease. Suzana’s support, her believe, trust in me and her calm energy, save me from getting addicted to medicines, injections and giving my power away to a hospital or a mental hospital.
Panic attacks were a consequence of my inner fears collected in my body for many years, which I was not even aware of. As the body could not stand that accumulated wounds and blockages within me anymore, it sends me the signals of fast heart beat and panic attacks.
Even though this was a very hard experience for us, we would not change it for anything. This huge suffering leads us to the self-healing journey. Through the process, I became aware of so many more fears, wounds, blockades in my body that I didn’t even knew they existed within my energy field. While my panic attacks stopped because I had the strength not to believe in what my mind was telling me anymore and I got mentally stronger, those energy blockages were still living and vibrating inside of me. So in order to heal this accumulated suffering, I needed to dedicate myself to inner healing and dive fully in everyday commitment to heal my body and life.
Today I am totally free of panic attacks. I am deeply rooted in my Being. My body is healthy, light and without those low vibrating energies, fears and blockades. The self-healing process has saved me from further suffering, any new diseases that could evolve through panic attacks and liberated me from the mind identification. Inner peace, inner freedom, love, health, inner power, rootedness, awareness and lightness are now present in my life.
If you are also dealing with panic attacks or any other health problem, first I would like to tell you that it is nothing wrong with you! You are not insane. You have the power to heal yourself. I warmly suggest you to dive inside of your body, commit yourself to self-healing and devote your time to the process. In order for you to heal panic attacks, disease, body and life, your attention within is needed. We are very powerful Beings. When we connect ourselves with our powerful inner source, where lies everything that we are searching outside, healing and magic open for us.
I shared this story with you, so that you would also become aware of your own inner healing power. You can awaken and free yourself from suffering at any time you are willing to go inside.
I want you to know, that you are not alone. If you need any help we are here for you. Suzana is now sharing the teachings with everyone who needs and wants help. Below are listed possibilities to step in contact with her, guidance and powerful meditations that we both are still using it today.